March 2008 Archives
78 percent!
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My first exam of many to come in the next three years. I'm either a natural at retaining information, or I was very lucky and should focus more from now on. Either way, I was in the top few of the class - take THAT Bondi Barbies!
I've been at "Mungbean High" for 5 weeks now. Although I was sick for one of them, I managed to catch up. Now, imagine my suprise when I was told last week we are having our Nutr1a module 1 week EARLIER! I thought that this was going to kill me (and probably will) and decided to sit down and write out my top 10 lists. I smell an eBook coming!
Step 1. Put off reviewing your notes as long as possible
Step 2. Procrastination is the key to success
Step 3. Drink LOTS of red wine, and eat LOTS of Lebanese food two nights before your exam
Step 4. The night before the exam, spend as much time in the sun as possible. Then get home and highlight all 100 pages of learning material you need to absorb. Don't read it until 10 minutes before bed.
Step 5. After passing out, you wake at 6am with the study notes glued to your face with saliva (and you now know, this is classed as "chemical digestion" but paper has no nutritional value)
Step 6. When you should be working, book a meeting room for 3 hours and pour over the material. Put on a stern look of concentration and have the phone headset on so people won't come in and bother you with inane requests.
Step 7. Panic that you'll forget how many calories in a gram of carbohydrates, and what the hell do lipids do?
Step 8. Arrive at college 20 minutes before the "big exam" after working a full day.
Step 9. Chain smoke your last 12 cigarettes and gulp down a bottle of listerine, douse yourself in deodorant and walk inside to confront the "Tofu-Chomping Bondi-Barbies" who undoubtedly, have done more preparation and are now sitting smugly awaiting to crush your spirit with their fake manolos and hair extensions.
Step 10. Shut up, and spend the next 100 minutes on 80 multiple choice, short answer and case study questions. Glare silently at the bitch who continually coughs throughout the exam, hoping your super powers will cripple their pharynx.
Step 11. Finish your exam, slowly get up and walk out, casually sauntering past the pub, stopping in for "just one drink" with your college pates. 3 hours later you're still there.
Step 12. Spontaneously combust in flames when you get your mark the next week.
So, fingers crossed that my first exam on Nutrition1a is a success.
B
